ALEX: I love that!

JAMES: I think that’s the only time I’ve addressed you like, in proper military terms in the whole-

ALEX: Yeah, I think it is.

JAMES: I’m such a dick about it.

Combat Jack episode commentary.

Hey Brad, do your Big Gay Al for me? Come onnnnnn, Buddy! Do it for your old pal Ray. The one that made the right turn.

TROMBLEY: Hey, Person, didn’t your mom put your picture up on the Wal-Mart Wall of Heroes? 

RAY: Yep. My grandma did when I went to Afghanistan. I’m on the Nevada, Missouri Wal-Mart Wall of Heroes. Even got my dress blues on.

BRAD: If my mother ever distributed my likeness without written authorization, I would disown her. 

RAY: Technically speaking, Brad, but didn’t your biological parents disown you when they put you up for adoption? 

BRAD: Point, Ray. I was one of those unfortunates adopted by upper-middle-class professionals and nurtured in an environment of learning, art, and a socio-religious culture steeped in more than two thousand years of Talmudic tradition. Not everyone is lucky enough to have been raised in a Whiskey Tango trailer park by a bowlegged female whose sole qualification for motherhood is a womb that happened to catch a sperm of a passing truck driver.

See, Trombley asked about shooting people. I asked about pussy. The guy told me I’d get to go to Thailand, get all kinds of strange. What’d you ask about, Brad? Brad probably saw that TV commercial, the one with the knight who fucks up the dragon then turns into the Marine. That fucking dress-blues commercial, man, that got so many fucking guys. Now look at us! Trombley hasn’t killed anybody, I am half a world away from good Thai pussy, and Colbert is out here rolling around Fuckbutt, Iraq, hunting for dragons in a MOPP suit that smells like four days of piss and ballsweat.

You should have rolled into battle with a sword, Brad. That would have fucking rocked.